Growing Pains
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By Jessica Lee
We started our ketogenic journey when our daughter was an infant and while it felt strange to travel with extra cans of keto formula or bring a scale to a restaurant, having a very young child with a disability can sometimes be a little easier because sympathy is more readily expressed by strangers. Once your child starts growing up, new environments mean new challenges. While our daughter is no longer on the diet, we do keep a tight rein on her nutrition in general and even that can sometimes feel like a struggle as she sees other kids at school and their versions of lunches and snacks.
In talking to another mom of a keto kid, she brought up the issue of bullying and social isolation when kids get older, specifically in middle and high school. Such a delicate time period for our children’s development and critical to their self-esteem, yet there aren’t many resources out there to support kids on medical diets. Add to what we remember as kids the new area of cyberbullying and one can easily feel helpless.
The CDC defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths who are not siblings or current dating partners that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social or education harm.”
Estimated rates of bullying are anywhere from 7-31%.
Victims of bullying are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, relationship problems, poor health, poor academic performance, and suicidal ideation/attempts.
Boys, minorities including LGBTQ youth, overweight, youth with ADHD/autism/learning disabilities, youth with epilepsy and food allergies are more likely to experience bullying.
While we all hope we have instilled confidence in our kids that will carry them through tough times, here are some tools to help in those hard moments.
Protective factors include parent connectedness and positive parenting as well as empowering children with skills to handle bullying. Here are some steps to empower your keto kid!
Ensure safety-talk with your child about the situation to determine if there is any physical harm or concern for suicidal ideation (and contact authorities when appropriate)
Build skills
a. Role playing-children can learn how to respond to a bully Ex) Look directly at the bully, speak in a firm loud voice “You don’t scare me”, “Be cool and stop this”, or “Why are you talking to me?”
b. Walk away with your head held high and tell a teacher or parent
c. Consider bringing a keto snack to have your child share with the rest of the class (something yummy!)
d. Cyberbullies-Don’t respond, keep evidence, block the bully, talk to a trusted adult and report it to school
Empower adults and kids to step in
a. When bystanders intervene, 57% of episodes cease within 10sec
b. Increase awareness by promoting empathy toward victims
c. Condemn the behavior, not the bully
d. Have a talk with your child’s teacher to learn what they are seeing at school and work together
If you feel your child is being bullied and needs further attention, consider talking to a local counselor or therapist about helping.
Remember you are not alone! We have families ready to help with our Keto Friends network. While we are often matching parents, we have older kids and young adults who would be happy to talk to an older child who is struggling. Our keto community is strong and growing!
Sources include CDC, American Academy of Pediatrics, Contemporary Pediatrics
